I still find myself wishing for death. Maybe I should sell all my guns.
Tomorrow I turn 21. In the first 20 years of my life I have lost two very important people, been loved, been hated, been in a car chase, had people try to kill me, had forces beyond nature try to kill me, been stopped from killing myself several times, made amazing friends, had amazing teachers, lost two potential children, dealt with my own insanity, saved at least two lives, gotten modified, accepted who I am and learned more about living and loving than some people do in a lifetime. I wonder what my next 20 years have in store for me.
Withdraw. People suck. Leave me alone. Fuck it all and everyone.
I don’t know how old Denzel Washington is but he is still hot as hell.
I’ve drank 4 large cans of monster energy in the last 10 hours and I feel funny.
Something is going to happen tonight. I feel it in my bones. I don’t want to be part of it. I am fully prepared to drop everything and leave. I have places to hide. I can leave. I don’t know what is going to happen, but this feels very bad.
I really should just kill myself. I’m not meant for this earth.
I used to say fuck the world but I don’t feel that way anymore. I used to say fuck god, but then I realized that we all are god. You can’t be against yourself. You are god and you are the world. The entire universe resides inside of you and to say the world is doomed is to say you are doomed. This cannot be a true statement. Seeing as the world must go on so that others may see what has to be done.